Once again I find myself being tossed by the same emotional tidal waves that have tossed me to and fro like a ragdoll before.
Once again I am helplessly caught up in them.
Once again unable to escape.
Once again unable to salvage.
Once again caught up in the torrent that pulls me under.
Once again fighting to keep my head above water.
once again wondering how I let it happen again......
Monday, September 22, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Alone....
I hear people say they feel alone, like that there is no one there for them. I've seen people say they are alone like that no one cares for them. Yet how can one expect to not feel alone when they scream that they want to someone to be there for them, yet they won't let people be there for them? They pretend they are ok, and when you ask them, they shrug it off. They tell you things like don't bother, or don't worry about it. Forcing themselves to be "alone" trapped by some form of self-righteousness in the fact they want to suffer alone and they don't want to be anyones burden.
I won't speak for anyone else, but when I say I'm there for you, or if you need something ask, I'm not saying it out of empty words, I wouldn't waste my time or anyone else's if I didn't mean it. I'm not the type that will do the "normal" things in these situations. I care about people and I know what it is like to feel alone and not wanting to be a burden to other people. I spent a majority of my life on the outside with no friends. Until I moved to Florida in 2003 I had one real friend, and only one. So one is much more well suited to tell me what it's like to be alone. But I made friends when I moved here, real friends. I didn't want to be a burden, but then I realized they really care about me, and that they would do anything for me. So I accepted their love and their help, and they know that I will do the same for them. I love people and because of my experience in being alone I would never want anyone to suffer through that.
You say you want someone to care and want someone to be their for you? Then ask, let people be there for you. I wont speak for anyone else but I'm here for you, and I'm sorry you don't understand God and His love yet, because it's the best kind out there. But if you need a real person, I'm there, and I'm sure Kenny would probably say the same......
I won't speak for anyone else, but when I say I'm there for you, or if you need something ask, I'm not saying it out of empty words, I wouldn't waste my time or anyone else's if I didn't mean it. I'm not the type that will do the "normal" things in these situations. I care about people and I know what it is like to feel alone and not wanting to be a burden to other people. I spent a majority of my life on the outside with no friends. Until I moved to Florida in 2003 I had one real friend, and only one. So one is much more well suited to tell me what it's like to be alone. But I made friends when I moved here, real friends. I didn't want to be a burden, but then I realized they really care about me, and that they would do anything for me. So I accepted their love and their help, and they know that I will do the same for them. I love people and because of my experience in being alone I would never want anyone to suffer through that.
You say you want someone to care and want someone to be their for you? Then ask, let people be there for you. I wont speak for anyone else but I'm here for you, and I'm sorry you don't understand God and His love yet, because it's the best kind out there. But if you need a real person, I'm there, and I'm sure Kenny would probably say the same......
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